A Breakup Email From Yoda To Shrek

Dear Shrek,

It is with great sadness that I must inform you that our partnership has come to an end. While I have enjoyed our time together, I cannot continue to overlook the fundamental differences in our approaches to life.

As a Jedi Master, my duty is to uphold peace and justice in the galaxy. Your tendency towards violence and aggression goes against everything I stand for. Additionally, your lack of respect for the environment and disregard for personal hygiene are simply unacceptable.

I understand that this may come as a shock to you, but please know that it is not a decision I have made lightly. It is time for us both to move on and find partners who align more closely with our values.

May the Force be with you,

Yoda

P.S. Please return my lightsaber at your earliest convenience.